Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God’s sight. 12:7 But even the hairs of your head are all counted. Do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows. – Luke 12:6-7
The other day I responded to an email I received from someone living out-of-state who is an agnostic wanting to have a conversation about how one may experience this “God who loves us beyond our wildest imagination” that I talk and write about. This is a person who has experienced a great deal of pain and disappointment in his life, and I found myself reflecting along the lines of the “salt” sermon I preached a couple months ago where we poured cans of Morton Salt down the aisles (“The Three Great Loves, Affirmation 10, Part 2,” September 20, 2009). It was a sermon that touched on the verses from Luke 12 above. I realize I’m getting ahead of myself by blogging on Luke 12, and that those of you who were here for that sermon may find what’s below redundant, but I thought I’d share the following for those who wish to read it:
When people of our great-great-grandparents’ generation looked out at the stars shining brightly over their farms and ranches, it was easy to feel exactly what thousands of generations before them felt – a sense of awe and wonder; a sense of perfection and orderliness to the Universe; perhaps also a sense of artistry and imagination. The sky may have served as a reminder of God’s beneficence and blessing. At least they could feel these things when the crops were doing well, or the cows were milking. But in drought, or through cold winters that livestock didn’t survive, that sky may have looked the same, but other associations or questions might have come to mind: Is God punishing us by withholding the rain? Did we do something wrong? Is God trying to teach us a lesson? Did God decide not to listen to our constant prayers? The one thing that they would NOT likely have asked is, Does God exist? That wasn’t in their world-view.
But now that modern science has stepped onto the scene, we can look into the same sky our ancestors did and while there may be a number of similarities of thoughts and ideas we share with our ancestors, we have new thoughts as well, thoughts that none of our ancestors could even imagine having. We look into the milky area of the sky and realize we’re in the midst of a galaxy 100,000 light years in length and 3,000 lightyears in depth – a galaxy that is said to contain AT LEAST one hundred billion stars (i.e., approx 66,000 cans of Morton Salt if each grain represented a star). We look at one faintly glowing “star” in the lower hemisphere and realize that that “star” is actually an entire other galaxy called Andromeda, and what we are beholding has travelled 2.5 million years at the speed of light to reach us. And the Andromeda is considered to be the most distant visible galaxies of what scientists call the NEAR Field, i.e., the closest galaxies!
In some respects, these observations have allowed us to be filled with even more awe and wonder; even more peaceful reverence than even our ancient forebears. However, they have also introduced a NEW thought into our our minds, at least when the (literal or figurative) rain doesn’t come and the cows are dying: “Does God exist?” “Are we all alone?” “If God exists, how could such a God be aware of me, or hear my prayers with so much … empty space?”
Those who are more prone to more down-to-earth, concrete, rubber-hits-the-road thinking may try to escape the terror of aloneness in the face of such vastness by looking to only that which they can see and touch. But even here, modern science has introduced NEW thoughts into our minds that the ancients (even our great-great-grandparents) never had to deal with. We look at our hands and realize that they are made up not just of skin, muscle, bone, etc, but also of cells … and cells can be reduced to molecules … and molecules to atoms … to atomic particles … and to subatomic particles like quarks. We recognize that, on a relative scale, the distance between a proton and its nearest electron is greater than the distance between the sun and earth. And this causes us to realize that everything we can see before us contains more empty space than anything else. We’re really more than 99.999999999% empty space …
So now when we modern “farmers” look out at the sky when the “rains” don’t come and all around us seems to be dying, and also when we turn our gaze downward to the earth, it is hard sometimes not to be overwhelmed by a sense of vast, vast, emptiness. And absence.
“What of this God who loves us beyond our wildest imagination now?” one cannot help but ask.
The major religions of the world all have different ways of addressing this question (though not all believe in a God, or a God who loves us like this, of course). I find that the Christian path speaks to me quite powerfully precisely at the intersection where vast emptiness meets vast emptiness. For, at the center of Christian faith is not a “warm fuzzy blanket” meant to provide an “cushy comfort” but a Cross – an instrument of torture and death; a place of utmost desolation and despair; a place where even Jesus cried out “My God, my God, why have you FORSAKEN me?”
Christian faith is not a good intellectual concept. It’s not a set of doctrines. It’s not even a set of beliefs. Christian faith is simply an experience. While the experience may turn into something quite ecstatic, lifting one to the heights of love and grace, it never starts here, nor does it end here. The basic experience to which the Cross points is emptiness. It is the experience of deeply relating to and claiming our emptiness, losing hope and faith, and discovering the emptiness of God touching the emptiness that is us.
I cannot begin to describe what this experience “feels” like. The experience is as far beyond words as that Andromeda galaxy is beyond earth. It is WAY beyond doctrines and beliefs – so far that people of absolutely NO belief can experience this fierce intersection without ever finding religious language to describe it. And to me, that only makes it more real; more worthy of contemplation (even though I admit from square one that I’ll never understand it); even more worthy of adoration (even though I’ll never fully appreciate, much less adore it).
Even my own “mountain top” experience in 1981 (that I write about in Asphalt Jesus) didn’t begin there, with a spiritual “high.” It began with two people getting in touch with our deep emptiness and letting go of “self.” If one searches for an ultimate “high,” one never finds it (I know this from incredibly long experience of trying to replicate the very experience I had in ‘81, or trying to get close to it!). But what all of us can do is find the emptiness inside and claim it. This is the surest path to God, I think. Somehow emptiness + emptiness regularly seems to lead to somethingness. Literally, creatio ex nihilo. And a new day dawns. A new creation is born.
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